The impact of bullying on a child is often underestimated by parents, teachers and the community at large. This article can be used as a simple tool, to alert you to the signs of bullying and provide some handy hints should this arise in your family.

• Says "I don’t want to go to school".
• Says " I hate school".
• Says " I have no friends".
• Finds excuses for not wanting to go to school, such as feeling sick.
• Wants to go to school a different way to avoid the children who are bullying him/her.
• Is very tense, tearful & unhappy after school.
• Has bruises or scratches.
• Refuses to tell you what happens at school.

What can you do?

• Listen to your child and take their fears seriously.
• Try not to take everything into your own hands, this is likely to make your child feel less in control.
• Don’t call your child names such as "sook" or tell them they are weak. And don’t let anyone else either.
• Help your child work out ideas they have about coping with the problem. eg "Can Jason walk home with you?"
• Some children are helped by imagining a special wall around them, eg "build a Harry Potter Invisible Cloak that no-one can penetrate."

Talk to the school

• Make a list of things that happened: Who What Where and When.
• Talk to the principal about the school’s way of dealing with bullying.
• Talk to the teacher about what can be done to help your child. Keep in contact until the problem is sorted out.

Reminders

• Let your child know bullying is wrong.
• Take your child’s fears and feelings seriously.
• Reassure your child that bullying is not their fault and that something can be done about it.
• Let your child know that they are not the only one who is bullied . It happens to a lot of other children.
• Help your child as far as possible to work out their own ways of dealing with the problem.
• Don’t allow the bullying to continue.
• Protect your child; involve the school or club or wherever it is happening.
• Help your child feel good about other things in their life.